Yawn!

I'm sitting here at my computer, listening to the clunk,clunk,clunk of the wannabe drummer playing Rockband in our basement. I should be in bed. I am so very tired. I'm tired in the morning, tired in the afternoon, tired in the evening...you get my point.

Funny, I do not know why I'm so very sleepy all the time. Most people would blame the weather. It has been raining a lot, and it's cold for summer.

When the kids were younger it meant so much to have balmy summer weather. I would take them out for picnics, we'd go to the park or the zoo, and we loved the beach more than anything. Cold summers were disappointing.

Now I find I'm home most of the time, rain or shine. I cannot complain or blame. It was very warm and beautiful outside for a while and all I heard was complaining regarding the heat. People were sweating to death! Now apparently they are freezing to death. I for one am the same...thanks to air conditioning.

I don't go out much. If I do it's over to a friend's house or out shopping. At work the temperature is consistent one week to the next. I feel I have no right to complain about the weather as it makes little to no difference. Certainly the rain would only make me sleepy if I actually paid attention to it, no?

Then there is stress. I could blame my sleepiness on the fact that I just started a new job and I look after our grandson on a regular basis. However, I absolutely love my new job and I love my grandson even more. (I miss him terribly if I don't seem him for a day.) So no, not stress.

Rod thought that my medication made me groggy. So I stopped taking my happy pills over a month ago. Nothing changed. Am I depressed? That could make one sleepy. However, I'm happy. Exciting things to look forward to even. D-day is in 6 days! Woo hoo...light at the end of the tunnel!

Jesus has given me such inner joy and peace lately too. Depression has been far from my heart. In fact, driving back and forth to work has been my main time of worship this past month. I sing along to Avalon and Newsboys and my heart is filled with such praise. One day I just started crying; the happy kind of crying. I said out loud "I love you so much Jesus, I just love you so much!"

You see, God has been so very good to me. He brought me through, he strengthened my resolve, he healed my emotional pain, he gave me joy..the real kind, the kind I asked for, the kind that remains when chaos reigns in circumstances. How can I not be thankful?

I know, now more than ever, that whatever comes my way, sun or rain, joy or pain, loss or gain, God will reign!!! (Hey that ryhmed! And I didn't even try.)

God is good. It is true! All the time he is good. Even when nothing makes sense! Believe me my friend, GOD IS GOOD!!! He knows. He knows! One day we'll get it. All of it.

Anyway, back to being sleepy. So, what's my take on it? I blame myself. Not stress, not weather, not meds. Once upon a time when I couldn't sleep at all I asked God to grant me the ability to sleep. Just like I asked for the ability to eat again. I vowed never to complain about my weight or feeling tired; I'd rather be fat, sleepy and happy than thin, awake and miserable. Yupp, God answers prayer. That's what he does, it's just who he is. So I shouldn't be suprised that I am sleepy and hungry A LOT. Summer or winter, meds or no meds, stress or no stress.

Praise God for sleep! Praise God for a cozy bed and a husband to sleep beside! Praise God for a comfy couch during the day! Praise God for food, the ability to cook and the choice not to! Praise God for air conditioning! And praise God for the teenagers in my basement pretending to be rock stars!

I love my life, and I really love my Jesus! And that's the honest truth.